The Jerk (1979)

Random Thoughts Part One

Some people have said that “there’s no such thing as a free lunch” and I think it’s total malarkey. I eat for free all the time. You just have to know when it’s time to leave.

I find it so strange that something I do can have such different reactions from different people. How the exact same thing can turn someone’s stomach and cause another person to admire me. So maybe the answer is to be true to yourself and those who can’t take it should move on.

Of course being yourself is far too often a tricky thing to be. I’m inclined to change my mind from time to time and it may often seem like I’m never consistent. Except of course that I’m always consistent about how I feel at the time.

Daniel Craig was a better Bond in Casino Royale than any other actor has ever played the role in any other movie. And yes I’m including Sean Connery in that list. And I don’t care if you think it’s blasphemous to say so, it still doesn’t make it any less true.

Yes. I used the word malarkey. Yes, I may use it again. And no … I’m not from the nineteen fifties.

I like football but I don’t really LIKE football. I have never sat down to watch a game by myself. I’d rather go shopping or to a movie to be honest. And I don’t think that makes me any less macho or manly. Maybe it just means I don’t want to watch a bunch of dudes in skintight pants run around with a ball for three hours.

Cover songs can be a tricky thing. It’s odd how some bands can somehow manage to capture the heart of what makes a song great while other (often equally talented bands) can strip a song of it’s life and leave it dieing on the studio floor. Radiohead’s cover of “Wish You Were Here” is an example of a great cover tune. U2’s “Helter Skelter” is an example of a not so great cover tune.

Wouldn’t life sometimes be so much simpler if we didn’t know that feeling called love? Probably. But I doubt it’d be a life anyone thought much of.

Speaking of love. After talking to a pretty cool person tonight I was left thinking about how love can change. How it’s so fickle that sometimes the feeling can change with even the smallest of changes. And so often you can change everything in your life and it will still be exactly as it was when you return.

In the last year I’ve had something like nine or ten people tell me I look like Clark Kent. Including a little girl who turned bright red when she figured out I had overheard her. It’s weird. Does that mean I look like one of the actors who played the character? Does it just mean I have dark hair and glasses? Maybe I should start wearing a superman shirt under my dress shirts … you know, just in case.

When I die I want my service to be concluded with the song “Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog. It just somehow seems appropriate.

The new Ikea store here in town is big. Not big like a mall. More like - big like Paris Hilton’s sense of entitlement or Britney Spear’s false sense of modesty. You know … incalculably big and bordering on the infinite.

It is said that nothing heals a wound like time. Well this may be true but I can tell you that time, however, does not heal all wounds.

The truth is that while I long for change in my life I find that trying to change anything big these days scares the hell out of me. I feel like I’m waiting for something, but I don’t know what.

I don’t love lamp. I hate that son of a bitch.

How is it that Tracy Morgan is so damn funny on 30 Rock, and somehow managed to be completely unfunny in his own show?

“All you need is love.” - John Lennon

“… and this Thermos.” - Steve Martin (in The Jerk)